(with thanks to W S Merwin)
Listen!
As the night falls
we say
thank you.
We stop,
alighting from parked cars —
we’re drawn out of bright rooms
(dinner still kissing our lips)
gazing at the sky
to say
thank you.
Through the hijack
and the burglary,
after the funeral
and the brain tumour
and countless doctors
in their sterile coats
we say
thank you.
Across miles
we say
thank you.
In alleys and doorways,
in taxis and lifts
we say
thank you.
In the newsnewsnews
of wars
and threats
and dictators
and notorious liars
we say
thank you.
Though the world groans
as the animals die,
as the forests fall,
as the rivers go still,
we say
thank you.
Faster and faster
we say
thank you.
With no one listening
we say
thank you.
Thank you
we say
and wave.
Though in the darkness
we cannot see
yet we hold out our hands
and
we say
thank you!
**********************************************************
This is a “cover” of WS Merwin’s poem “Thanks.”
Over at dVerse Bryan is doing a guest prompt and asking us to “cover” a poem by a poet we admire.
It was not easy to “cover” a poem (as singers cover songs). I had to decide what my “voice” sounds like, what my words “look like” and then interpret the poem through my own life and experience.
It is still too close, I think, to the original to be completely mine. But it is a good place to start, and it got me thinking and writing.
Try it!
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
Nov 29, 2016 @ 23:22:13
This is a wonderful and dark cover… I had not read the original, but I think this tells a lot, like a threnody over the past… Are you not going to link up BTW?
little learner
Nov 29, 2016 @ 23:36:18
Thank you, Björn. 🙂 I will link up now.
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
Nov 29, 2016 @ 23:36:40
🙂
Bryan Ens
Nov 29, 2016 @ 23:57:26
I see in this a call to give thanks, despite the darkness that surrounds us. Almost prayer-like in quality. Thanks for responding to my prompt!
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:12:54
Thank you! It helped me in a time of difficulty. 😊
erbiage
Nov 30, 2016 @ 00:25:29
Love the dinner kissing my lips! Ah, food!
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:15:07
😊
katiemiafrederick
Nov 30, 2016 @ 01:11:53
For me at lEast.. noW..
i cannot doubt the ForcE
of changing All of liFe as
DArk and liGht.. ‘tween
aLL of thaT iS.. ‘tiLL
all colors
coMe
BeYond
RainBows
when aLL of liFe
is Gratitude and All
beCoMes hOly SacRed
as existence is what iT is greater
when
actuAlly
fELt noW iN
EmoTioNs
SenSes aLL
KNoWinG
liGht Now
TrUth
iN
SacRed hOly FLiGht..:)
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:15:49
Thank you for beyond rainbows!
katiemiafrederick
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:16:33
SMiLes..
welcome..
FriEnd..:)
joyroses13
Nov 30, 2016 @ 01:15:07
OH this tugged my heart! Very good! We always have things to be thankful for even when life may seem out of control! Thanks for sharing this! ❤
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:16:29
Yes. 😊 This prompt was good therapy. 😊
joyroses13
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:38:03
Have you heard the songs Shoulders by Kings and Country and Just be Held by Casting Crowns? I have listened to them over and over many times.
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:43:07
No! I’ll have to find them and listen. Thank you!
joyroses13
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:50:38
You are very welcome. Worn is another really good one by Tenth Avenue North and Thy Will by Hayley Scott. 🙂
Grace
Nov 30, 2016 @ 03:11:59
Thank you, thank you, thank you. So many blessings to be thankful despite the darkness and no one listening ~ Still we hold out our hands and say thank you ~ Beautiful response ~
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:16:57
😊 Thank YOU!
Truedessa
Nov 30, 2016 @ 03:51:37
We need to still give thanks, through all the turmoil that life brings. You have captured that well.
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:17:26
❤️ Thank you.
Waltermarks
Nov 30, 2016 @ 04:12:22
I like yours better than Merwin’s poem. As with the others, your poem helps to unwrap the riddle he expressed. His ending kind of leaves me wondering who he was talking to, yours finishes the thought. I like that a lot better.
little learner
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:18:30
Thank you for your kind words! It was therapeutic, this exercise!
Waltermarks
Nov 30, 2016 @ 05:36:59
😄
Rosemary Nissen-Wade
Dec 01, 2016 @ 06:03:18
Well done! I think it’s fine for it still to be somewhat close to the original – a musical ‘cover’ is supposed to be recognisably a version of the source material, so why not a poem too? (My cover is!).
little learner
Dec 01, 2016 @ 12:11:38
😘
sarahsouthwest
Dec 01, 2016 @ 14:51:27
I read the original recently, and I hear it, but hear your voice, too. It’s an interesting experience. I like what you’ve done. My son is painting in the style of Van Gogh at school at the moment, so this is a perfectly legitimate way of learning technique in the visual arts, but seems uncomfortable for poets generally…
little learner
Dec 01, 2016 @ 14:52:33
Thank you! 😊You’re right.
Grace
Dec 28, 2016 @ 19:05:05
Hello! Can you please contact me at:
sometimesg@yahoo.com ?
Happy New Year!! Grace from D’verse~