I lower my chin now
whenever someone pulls out their phone
just in case
there is a shot
in the offing.

I hate photos
for showing me for me,
this external shell
which bears less resemblance to my true self
the more years go by.

Every once in a while
the camera will catch it,
a glint in the eye,
a slight upward turn to the lips,
and there,
for a fraction of a second,
I see it.
The real me.

I will be whole
and wholly myself.

Until then
I drop my chin
every time
I hear
a click.