con fi dence |ˈkänfədəns; -fəˌdens|
noun

  • a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities
  • the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust
  • a secret or private matter told to someone under such a condition of trust

When I hear this word        
I want to burst into song
with Julie Andrews,
running with her guitar
through Austrian streets:

I have confidence in sunshine!
I have confidence in rain.
I have confidence
that spring will come again;
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me.

All I trust I give my heart to.
All I trust becomes my own.
I have confidence in confidence alone.
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me.

I could belt out a lusty chorus of this song!
I do — I have confidence in me!

And this is where I fall down
every time.

Even though I THINK I can do everything on my own,
even though I have enough confidence in myself to fill an ocean
(okay — maybe not an OCEAN.  But definitely a small lake!),
I can’t.
Wishing just don’t make it so.

Case in point:
There was a someone in my life.
I saw this somebody every weekday.
Wrapped up in self and status,
this person
(let’s just call them “BB” to make life easier)
annoyed, irritated, frustrated and bothered me.
Praying about the situation,
which seemed to be escalating,
I heard the Lord say,
“Love BB!  Just love BB!”
Okay, I thought.  I can do that!
And I set off to love BB.
WOW!  Was that a tough assignment.
Things got worse!
Every day I failed.
I was moving from annoyance with BB
into strong dislike of BB.
But I would get up, dust myself off, grit my teeth
and head into the next day
determined to love BB!
Finally I had enough.
Admitting defeat I crawled before the Lord.
“I can’t love BB, Lord!  I can’t!”
And I actually felt the Lord smile.
(Maybe he even did a little victory dance and punched the air.)
“I know you can’t love BB.” he said.
“I love BB and I want to love BB through you!
Let go and let me!”
Well, that was the beginning of big change!
God loved BB through me
and changed both of us in the process!

SO,
(although I still go marching into most situations
with grim determination to conquer the world on my own —
and am so thankful for a gracious and loving Lord
who never tires of teaching me the same thing over and over and over again)
now my “Sound of Music” anthem is more like this:

“Oh, I have confidence in Jesus
’cause nothing solo can I do
All things are done through Christ who strengthens me.
I have confidence in him. He alone is true.”

Choose this day in whom you will TRUST.

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Linking today with Bonnie and others at the Faith Barista Jam:

 

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